Ghosts Can't Use Cell Phones Very Well

I saw about half of "The Grudge" yesterday, but I heard all of it. I am sissy about scary movies because I have had trauma.

I am going Halloween camping tomorrow night at the lake where a bunch of promiscuous teenagers were murdered by a half-man, half-alligator with a meat cleaver exactly 10 years ago tomorrow night. Fortunately I am neither promiscuous nor a teenager and I know that humans can not breed with alligators because alligators are vegetables.

Instincts

It is important for you to have instincts. This crazy dog had already bit my cousin on the nose and it was time for payback.

Learning About Facts

I've been alive a little while and I have learned some things in that time. Mostly basic things like "pain hurts" and "it feels good when someone scratches my back." These are truths in life!

Thank you everyone who has been linking to Overcompensating so far! Like Sam Logan, he's a good chap.

The Truth Is Out There

I think the worst lie I ever really told some people was that I was on five episodes of "Friends." I couldn't keep it up though, I started feeling bad that it might get around that I had been on "Friends" and I didn't want to have to deal with that.

I Was Meant For The Stage

That's what they get for not playing "California One."

I have a new book out for pre-order! Here is a preview of the cover. In this book, you join a team of the world's top researchers and cryptologists as they attempt to decipher the secrets of my twisty, complicated brain plumbings. It is also loaded with sketches and a 6 page comic story, "Goth Daschund Vs. American Platypus" [preview].