Sin Tax

I don't think a human has made more of an influence on language in the past half century than Snoop Dogg. He practically made up a whole way of talking all by himself. I think Snoop should have at least a commemorative coin or something.

Gay Weddin's

Most of the people I know who are married don't really want to be married anyway. And I always hear that the part of being married where you "do it" a lot fades after you get married, so what's the big deal? It's still gonna amount to two human beings sitting on a couch watching "The Apprentice," being secretly resentful of each other. I have decided to marry a lesbian.

Pharaoh On The Microphone

Not a single person even wrote me in, as far as I can tell.

Cooking Is Hard

Have you ever tried to cook? It is the most impossible thing in the world. I tried to cook an omelette the other day and when I was finished I was too scared to eat it. I like to go to the store and buy things to eat that I know are safe.

Off to "rock the vote."

Finding Money Is So Awesome

No "blog" would be complete without being political. There. When it comes to politics, it's very simple. Anyone who disagrees with me is wrong.