TopatoCo

Having a business is harder than anything, especially if you're really bad at math.

Arrested Development is the best TV show since Cheers.

Lobster Hot Dogs

The thing about obesity is that hardly anybody wants to be obese, yet a lot of people are indeed obese. Or maybe there is like a secret club that is into "extreme body modification." Maybe people get to a point where they say, "you know, I could stretch my earlobes out to the size of hubcaps, but I think I'm gonna weigh 600 pounds instead."

I have personally been both in "pretty good shape" and "dang near obese" I can tell you with confidence that being in good shape is way better. Just clench your butt cheeks while you're sitting there, even that is exercise.

What Vapid Activity Are You

Which Lord of the Rings Orc are you? Which Olsen Twin are you? Which of Natalie Portman's 46 teeth are you? What bloody dang Spice Girl are you?

Additionally, my organization is proposing legislation to have the word "pussy" only refer to cats. Future double entendres will be punished by public caning.

So Evil

"He's so evil that when you finally take off his mask he is a reptile," would also work. This came from a conversation about President "Dubya," but I don't really think President "Dubya" is evil. He is just whitey. That's why they call him "W." It's not for "Walker" it's for "Whitey."

Murdering Lessons

If only Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs would have watched CSI he could still be dancing around in a suit made of girls with his junk all tucked.