Sensible Consumer Advisor Man

Even though he is not too tough to cry, Sensible Consumer Advisor Man is undoubtedly a man. He just wants you to buy the right things at the right price. Like my new book!

I Was a Teenage Billionaire Psychopath is going through final edits and the extra material is being tweaked. It should go to print next week! I can't believe I have made a words book where there is actually a somewhat cohesive story.

Don't Drink the Brown Water

Have you seen that commercial for some cell phone company that is about "Christmahannukwanzaka" or something like that? There is a girl in it who is naked and holding a giant cell phone in front of her, and she sings the line "no contractual obligation" and, man... there's something about the way she sings that line that sets my loins a'quiver.

The C-Word

Female circumcision is the least funny thing there possibly is.

Here Comes Weedmaster P

If smoking weed didn't make people's eyes all red, there would really be no way to tell if someone was high or just incredibly passionate about minutiae.

Hello BBC readers!

Copper vs Chocolate

Chocolate wire has benefits over copper wire in that it is more delicious. However it is sort of a crappy conductor. Also being delicious isn't really a benefit when you're speaking in terms of wire.