A Pox on Hollywood Video

This is the part where I use my vast power and influence to flip off a company. I've been a customer at that store for 3 years and spent way more than the $120 they want me to pay for that game, which I returned. Hollywood Video can suck a fat one.

Mashed Potato Melancholy

We wouldn't have to do stuff like this if Reese's would just make it. They should make Thanksgivings Reese's cups with pie crust on the outside and turkey paste on the inside or maybe stuffing. Why don't people get on this?

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Middle of Nowhere

I always thought it would be neat to go hitch-hiking as long as you didn't have to talk to whoever picked you up. I would just sit silently in the passenger seat and look directly ahead. I think it would be best to make up some sort of business card to hand to the driver saying you are a deaf-mute. This would enable you to ride for hours in this silent manner.

Can Ye Hear Me Nay

This comic is late because the shoot for the commercial ran late. It always does.

Jerk-Proof

There's also no such thing as "environmentally-friendly." The environment doesn't need friends, because it is the environment. And even if the environment wanted friends, do you really think it would want to be friends with you? I mean, come on, look at you.

I don't think it's really "gay" if you are a guy who has a crush on Indiana Jones. O to cling fast to that sweaty, swashbuckling archaeologist as you swing across an ancient, bottomless chasm, chased by a furious, desperate squad of natives who've for generations sworn to protect what you've just stolen from them, your cheek rubbing against his stubbly man-cheek...