Long story short, on Wednesday I called Verizon to tell them my inter webs were broke, a thing I've done so many times that I could go to work for them if I wanted. They couldn't figure it out and told me they would send someone out and be there between 8am and 7pm. I told them that was completely unreasonable and I would figure it out myself. Turned out the line was dead, and on Thursday I called back and told them, and they were like "oh I see you've been disconnected, sorry about that. Would you like to upgrade your service?" And I was like, "well why didn't they know that when I called? Why did you almost make me waste a whole day waiting for someone when it should have been clear that my service was turned off?" And they were like "I dunno Mr. Rolling. We have free long distance offer!" Then Weedmaster P dug a hole. Don't you love to hear about people's problems with huge telecom companies?
Oh I forgot to tell you about this dude who got a Joanna Clone and then his dang house burned down! Here are pictures.
I was just watching Independence Day again because it's the best movie ever made and it occurred to me that the aliens' strategery was actually a little silly. Step one: Position attack vehicles above their landmarks. Step two: Wait 12 hours, give Jeff Goldblum enough time to figure it out. Step three: Attack. Done!
