Fake Plastic Nuts

Much has been written on the subject of fake nuts for pickup trucks. Now, one man wants to do something about it. That man is Lionell Spruill Sr., and trash people that think having plastic nuts on their car is awesome think he is a dick.

One could say I'm being hypocritical in my opinion that people shouldn't have a fake nutsack dangling from their pickup, and they would be partly right seeing as selling pointless bullshit is how I put dinner in the passenger seat of my car. But there's a grey area, and on one side of it is my entertaining and charming wares, and on the other side is a plastic car scrotum. At least fake vomit and fake dog doo have important uses, but the way I see it the only real purpose of having fake nuts on your pickup is to stand beside the truck with one festering buck-tooth emerging from your smug, genitically improbable grin as passerbys wonder out loud what in the hell would compel a grown person to stick a fake bozack on their Ford F150. I guess people should technically be allowed to have the fake balls, but why do people need to want to have some fake balls? It's just crap is what it is.

Anyway I forgot what my point was, have a nice dang weekend and cut off some truck nuts for me. Maybe I'll do a "truck nuts for tee-shirts" thing like that deal they do in Florida where they have gang members trade in found guns for pizza.